Tuesday, May 31, 2005
One more dream vanished up in smoke & now I have no hope anymore.
Uh huh (: School again. Hahaha, just finished some assignment. Ohwell, pretty bored. The damn computer is so darn fucking slow & they don't allow the player to play music. Having some streaming problems, I guess. Heck it. I'm still very tired. =\ I slept very early last night already & I don't know why become like that. Ugh!
Garel gave me hershey's kisses this morning! :) Something that would prolly make me smile hur? For five miserable seconds, how 'bout that? :) Thanks anyway.
Had lunch with the same people again just now. & I'm still feeling FULL. Heh. Alrighty, I'm so bored. We don't have much to talk about this few days due to the holidays & those bitches faces all kept at home ( something good. :] ). Sassy agreed with me though. =)
Got another assignment to do now. =\
-
Nomatterwhat,
you'renotalone,
I'mstillherewithyou. (=
I'm fading, gone away & now I feel erased.
=\ Sigh.
Michelle, where are you?!
Monday, May 30, 2005
I'm barely hanging on.
I'm in school for the photoshop workshop thingy. (: Damn retarded, I swear. But it's fun & I learnt something new :D Oh well! Just had lunch at RM. Had LJS with chanel, sarah, qiaos & SJ. =DD Saw yj, xw & tri. They look as though they're going out but guess what, they're going for bball training. HOW RETARDED. :D & TAN XIU WEN. She's getting me out of my nerves! She thinks I'm like _____. I eat to spend time, like hobby! Hahahahahahaha! You'll die when the next time I see you! HMPH.
Okay, done with the retardedness. Mich left for OBS this morning & I'm left here with gf, & adel. I'm feeling god dang tired. Talked to adel to 2 plus in the night. Hahahha! Tired now. The talk was hilarious! We talked about couples in school! Hahahha! AH BUNG! -CLIQUE, you know what it means! <3
Okay, gotta do stupid assignment already. OFF!
Iwon'tletgoofyou.
Ican'tforgetyou.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Who said letting go was losing something forever?
Adel, where are you now? I feel like talking to you suddenly. =\ I bet you're studying in your little room inside the small house of yours. Okay, nono. You're outdoors, coming online later! :D
Okay, gf squeezed tons of words into me & it somehow worked. Think, ask yourself & answer this, " Why do you love me so much?.. Don't you think it's not worth it at all? " This made me thought about everything now, like reflecting & all. Like what adel told me, "what makes you happy, do it." & i thought, it was still HERyouHER. uh huh.
Okay, I better shut up, before gf sees this & she'll start thinking she has wasted time typing all those to me. Hahaha.
I love you all so much. ( :
imissyou.
I wished I didn't had to say goodbye.
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye.
Kelly Clarkson's Because Of You is beautiful. (: It's playing now, anyway. I still like Behing These Hazel Eyes better. (:
Outing with LYD, AMD, ROL & ME seems not working out anymore. =\ LYD's rather busy, AMD is only free after the first week, ROL is free almost everyday & I'm only free after the first week. =\ OHWELLS. Poor ROL gotta do the organising 'cos everyone seems to be so busy that we've got no time for these. =\ WELL OH WELL.
Michelle just called. (: Like finally she called. I was thinking if I should call her last night. Hahaha! Now I've finally said my piece. WHEEE! (x Dumb mp3 is finally done. (: But it can only store up to 20 songs. Pffffffffft. I've got the urge to throw it out of the window now. =\
Chinese Os tmr. Best of luck to all those who are taking. (: Take care & God bless. (you lah, who else. =\ i love you.)
Thanks to,
adeline / michelle / anne / buddy! / rachael / jace
for squeezing all those advices & wake me up for that dumbest dream ever. I love you all. (: <3>
-
I told you everything, opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright, for once in my life
Now all that’s left of me is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of meI used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight,
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
PTM yesterday turned out to be a horror, a nightmare. I got Mrs Elan to explain my results to my dad. I'm gonna retain. =\ & I guess I know what's the damn reason this is happening. I don't know la. End my life if I'm gonna retain. DECIDED, no changing. :) If not, I'm leaving here. I told mum & she agreed. I thought she would be like telling all sorts of crap but yeah, she didn't. Maybe I'm joining Terrance in Auckland or maybe, my long distance cousin at Perth. Embrys's gonna join Terrance too. He's gona do design or photography for master's degree. Terrance is finishing this year or next year i think & he's not coming back anymore. His whole family is gonna like join him there. Lucky boy! =\ Merlene's gonna go over to do nursing, I heard. So prolly, I'll go over there with Embrys & Merlene. :) I'm getting everything so prepared. I'm happy to leave this place not because I dislike this place & people or what. Just that, I'm leaving all the memories here & start a life on my own. (I'm starting to think too much, yes too much. =\ )
Behind These Hazel Eyes is playing on the repeat. :) I love this song too much, suddenly. Hahah!
I wonder where's michelle now. We're supposed to town today. =\
Off I go, now. I'll blog again later.
What would you say if i asked you not to go?
Would your forget everyone, forget everything
And start over with me?
Friday, May 27, 2005
But I haven't miss you yet.
I thought it through the whole night. I guess, it isn't worthwhile to do all these for one who doesn't care. I agreed with buddy, so do I with girlfriend, & one more (if I don't mention her, she's gonna kill me this sat.), michelle. (: Thanks for all those encouragement & all. -hugs all. <3
I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go. I don’t wanna make you face this world alone. =\ A story to tell that is almost finished. Uh huh. Almost finished. Yeah, fat hope.
Dad's meeting the teachers later. =\ Kelly said that it's only the students affair people. Well, hope so. Haiya, I'm so worried. I didn't do anything wrong but my damn results. I'm very sure dad's gonna kill me la. =\ OH & we compromised. Dad told me to try harder the next time round & he get me an iPod & a zen micro. :DDD It doesn't matter whether I pass the subjects or whatsoever, as long as he sees that I'm trying my best & gave in everything I could, he's happy enough & he'd give me what I deserve! :) Heh heh heh.
If you think that you're not in the wrong, prove it to us. Forgive & forget? Dream on, hur. Forgive is a way way way NONONO thing. Don't talk about forget when we don't even intend to forgive YOU. You just don't know how much people around detest you. Not only us, the group you're hanging out with now detest you too, just that they don't wanna say. You're well known in school. For what, you wanna know? Lemme tell you. YOUR NOISYNESS. (spell?!) If you chose not to believe, ask the rest. HAWHAW. We'll see who have the last laugh yeah?
I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
Thursday, May 26, 2005
A short entry before I go off for dinner.Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion played on the player. I hadn't hear this song for quite sometime though. Okay, shut up. ):
Michelle, listen to this. I'm not upset because you break the news to be, because I was affected by it. Seriously, I just don't feel good. I'm somehow like sharing this darn ice-cream with 4 people. C'mon, put yourself into my shoes. You wouldn't like that feeling either. Don't feel guilty or whatsoever. I'll be perfectly fine after a short while of DUMB moaning & weeping. -nodds. I'd be fine. -pats. Loves you still. <3
-
Silly her, felt guilty when I got the ): the entire day at school after what she told me about sharing IS NOT CARING AT ALL. & mich, I know you don't get it at all, do you? Hah! <3
Gotta get movin'
Off.
I don't wanna share anything.
I'm selfish.
I can't share you.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
I'm at the edge of breaking down. ):
I'm so SICK & TIRED!
Rachael is the only one who knows how fucked up I feel right now. ): Should I cry or smile at the situation? Mixed emotions, unfathomable feelings. Sigh.
I don't know why would I be in sucha thing still. I promised myself, I gotta study & leave everything else aside. I don't want anything, anyone. But now what? ): I should be studying & not moaning over such crazy little thing called _ _ _ _. Pour & cry is what I feel like doing now, BADLY. No one knows how I feel, no one knows how badly is this heart bruised. Like what girlfriend has told me, FRIENDS are more important than that crazy stupid thing called _ _ _ _. Tell me, how easy is it to forget a loved one? (c'mon I'm using EASY.) It's not easy, neither is it tough. (yeah, rightttt) What do we have to play these games we play?
Sigh, I don't know la. Only if you were here.
I need a shoulder, a pair of listening ears, a tear-catcher & plenty of comforting, good advices. Or rather, someone who can brainwash me. =
BABY, IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU again.
fuckit.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
In some burn out highway town,
I'll be thinking of the day that I met you.
2000 miles by Mest is nice! (: & It's playing on the repeat. Rooftops & without you is nice too.
Frankly, I had a bad day at school today. Results were a total shame to myself. I wonder what did I do to make it go so "well". Hah, what is done cannot be undone. :\ Morning was pretty okay. Stupid people made us watch Spirit, & it's like cartoon. Hahah! After that, watched Brother Bear. We gathered all together to chat instead, didn't really watch the show la. Hahaha. Jasmit & Qiaos told me about the story already. (: Well, cute I'd say. ;D Michelle came over to join us after that. Told her some freakin' bad news. Ugh! & know what ? I got that fucking green form. (go on & laugh.) & Michelle got the pink one. She kept saying that I'd get the pink one & she'll get the green one instead. I merely pass 2 subjects & she pass like 3 & she get the green one? The school deserves to be burned down. /=
Iris by Goo Goo Dolls is on the player now.
& I don't want the world to see me 'cos I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.
I liked that part of the lyrics. (:
My world is half undone without you.
Make believes that my heart is still with you. (:
I LOST TODAY, I'M NOT OKAY.
HEARTBREAKS. FAKE SMILES. 2000 MILES.
Monday, May 23, 2005
An empty heart, filled with paranoia
I'm leaving my craziest girlfriend & insane-iest lil'one typing on their own, looking for POKS. Hahah! Well, the two of them can really make my night so DAMN bright lah huh. Too bright already, dearest two. =\ Thanks anyway. <3 Both wanted me to say that I love *coughsAHEMcoughs* them. :\ Yeah, I l-o-v-e michelle & anne. :D
Chariot is playing on the player now. So beautiful, I love. (: I'm still not done with the english project yet. :\ So dead. I don't know how to do the reflection lah. Oh well. :
I'm going crazy in msn. Really bonkers. Girlfriend & lil'one has the same nick & display pic. It's making me quite mad. :\ Especially when I'm feeling upside down now. Ohwells, let them have fun. I'll shut up.
I was thinking if what I did was right.
Maybe I should have just let everything go, let the past leave.
But I can't. It's so easy to say let go.
You taught me how to love but never taught me how to let go.
It seem so easy for you to move on & get yourself another girl.
But why is it so hard for me?
You shouldn't be still up on my mind, you should be gone in the memories.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I DIDN'T SAY I LOVE YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY. You shouldn't be still up on my mind, you should be gone in the memories.
Friday, May 20, 2005
I hate my template. It's so screwed! ): GODAMN I HATE THAT !?@#.AMD! I need your help please. =
Okay, school was far too boring. Only two teachers came in. Miss Yeo & Miss Teh, that's all. How boring. Miss Yeo came in & started bladdering & I kept telling Mich, "You know, I hate her now cos' she's being so damn irritating!" Hahaha! Miss Teh made us do some sketches. :) Nine of got kicked out of art. I don't know who. I'm afraid I'm one of them. Sigh.
After school, went lunch-ing with my mum & sis. :D Had sakae! Mum was craving hard for it. Ohwells. (:
I'm talking to Rach now. (: I'm like looking back into the past again. Some things you don't wanna look back on just made you to, some songs you don't wanna hear just happens to play on the player. Well, shit happens. It'd go away after awhile, I hope. We lost it all, nothing last forever.
Is there one person from your past you wished you could go back & talk to?
I did.
I wished things hadn't turn out so worst. Sigh.
you are..Cute without the E..by far the best song
on the album..and has some killingness to it..2
thumbs up
What Taking back sunday song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sigh.
You're the reason why I love.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
I hadn't blog for quite some time. Hahaha. Ohwells, I'm back. Results are all back & I'm far too ashamed to name them all. They are a major dread. See me in sce3 again next year with Nette. =\ Okay, school is godamn boring, I swear. Truth&Dare-d, gossiped, nothing much though.Truth & Dare was boring la. Practically everyone knows everything about me. & basically they like to ask about past crushes & all. Hahah! Except for Shyan. She doesn't know about anything. Hahaha!
OH PLEASE. I REALLY HOPE SHE KNOWS HOW MUCH WE DISLIKE HER, HOW MUCH WE TALK ABOUT HER EVERY SINGLE DAY. Stop asking people around if we did talk about you la. We did. We always do, always will, without fail. AGAIN I say, WE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT YOU. Happy enough with that answer? Ohwells, I can't remember what we said about you but I know we've been talking about you since the day we weren't friends.
I'm very mean, I know.
Shut up. I really hate her.
& she's making me hate her even more, more than ever.
Get away, smelly sweaty bitch.
Michelle enjoys my company, don't she?!! Hahaha! School is so boring & I made school so enjoyable for her. :D Heh, you better agree. Alrighty, dinnnnnnnnner time! :D
Why are we still friends?
I love you.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
take the memories & scram, right away.I won't forget that sand picture. (:
you made me feel loved
Thank you very much.
buhbye.
currently playing - We Belong Together.
I think I'm okay, yeah. I'm depressed. & upset.
Is it making me worst? Is the situation worsen? I guess the fault is mine. I shouldn't have messaged you & all. Yeah, be it. I don't care. Go on & love her, girl. You should care, I know you care for her. You both can make a perfect pair. You might not get what I mean now. You will, sooner or later. The rumours are going around. You will know sooner or later. Go on & love her. She needs you like no one else. You both know, you're in for this shit. Go on. You need her, she needs you too.
I don't care anymore. Why should I? It's the love/sex life of you two. I shouldn't care, I shouldn't bother. I should just shut up, see the both of you happily together & keep those tears flowing. You know, I'm tired of caring so much when the other party doesn't care, doesn't bother. You won't know how does it feels like to be me. You don't know the pain that I'm going through, do you? Have you put yopurself into my shoes & think? You didn't & you won't. You won't even give a fuck to this shits. Why should you? You got that love of yours. As long as you're happy with her, why bother?
Go on & be that happy pair people would be seeing. Go on & love. Why bother what I or others out there think? I think I'd be okay.
I'm a paradox.
I wanna care, I wanna know because I love you.
Let it be.
The truth hurts like none other.
The pain will not fade away, it will not go away. ):
GET OUT, LEAVE RIGHT NOW.
You're the one that I'll keep for all time.
Friday, May 13, 2005
For All TimeYou've been the first in my life
Who has ever made me feel this way
And I will not deny
I'm gonna need you right here
By my side
Baby, I can wait
(come on over here and let me lead the way)
Let me take your breath away
(by holdin' and kissin' and lovin' and touchin' you)
Never will be too late
(to see myself through your eyes)
Baby, I can wait
(until the day I hear you say)
-CHORUS-
You are mine
There's no other one for me
Keep in mind
You make my life complete
And tonight
We'll make love endlessly
Cuz you're mine
You're the one that I'll keep
For all time
Now that you're here, boy
I'm never gonna let you go
Can I touch you there, oh
Do you mind if we kiss real slow
You're my everything
You're my hopes and dreams
I'm gonna be with you till the day that I die
Baby, I can wait
(come on over here and let me lead the way)
Let me take your breath away
(by holdin' and kissin' and lovin' and touchin' you)
Never will be too late
(to see myself through your eyes)
Baby, I can wait
(no no, til the day I hear you say)
*chorus,
You're the one that lights my fire
You're the one that keeps me strong
You're the one that I depend on
When my world is goin' wrong
You're the one that I hold closer
And I really really love you
I just want you to know that
-CHORUS-
I can't wait til the day
When I hear you say
You're the one that I need
You're the one that I'll keep
For all time
-
-shrugs, I really don't know what to do.
Promise by Matchbook Romance is nice. :)
oh wells. I'll update again later.
please take this piece of my heart, & never let it go.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Happy Sweet 16th, Nique Chua! :DLAST TWO PAPERS TODAY & NOW I'M FINALLY FREE. :D
Chemistry was terrible cos' I seriously don't know how to do. Maybe for afew. =\ Art was okay. Miss Sek stared at my artpiece, Mr Yeo said it was nice, Chanel said it's nice, Jasmit liked mine. :D Okay, I'm very proud of myself.
The hot guy asked Jeanette for number! (x It happened yesterday though. I'm happy for her la. :D One gone, another come. The one that dumped her ought to be punched by me. -rolls eyes. Now I know, when the whole group of them look at us, they're looking at jeanette! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Loads of luck to you, nette. *Sass, don't you geddit? :D
Tong Hua's mtv makes me wanna cry.
ni hui ji de wo ma?
hui ji hen jiu ma?
xiang nian wo de shi hou,
yi ding yao kai xin oh!
I was reading nique's entries. Sometimes, I really envy both cheryl & her. Sometimes, when the storms & thunder comes, I thought I was lucky not being in one. How loving. =\ The biggest neek lover & biggest cheryl lover. :D
I'll let the doubts remain as doubts. I don't wanna know. I rather wonder my doubts all the time, than to know the truth & let tears run again. It's reality I gotta face, but no, I chose to runaway from it. Yes, I'm being very odstinate. I'm at the losing end, but who cares.
Let our love repeat. NO. I don't know.
Look at me, still in your mind
Our memories still intertwined.
Well you broke through & found your way
& so did I, no need to stay.
In some old pictures, tried & true
We've been through that, let's look for something new.
(I don't want, I just want you.)
It's late & I'm still up. & I'm habing papers tmr. Ohwells.
(Let's pray that THAT song & THIS song doesn't play tonight.)
I can't help it. I tend to think a lot every now & then. I'm stucked. I don't wanna be here. The pain is eating me inside out.
I wished we weren't lovers at all. I wished I didn't met you at all. I wished we were just friends. I wished everything was just a dream. I wished I didn't exist at all. I wished you are here with me now.
I hope life has been doing you good. I hope everything's okay for you. I hope you will love her more than the way she loves you. I hope that she'll love you for you. I hope she's the one you've been looking for. I hope to see you happy. I hope to see you again. I hope to have you by my side all the time.
I knew we weren't meant to be. (:
Thanks. -nodds
FAT HOPES, FAKE WISHES.
Okay, that was just crap. I need to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone please. People around me, all I can't seem to trust at all. ):
Why don't you call us exfriends instead?
Doesn't that sounds better?
It wouldn't hurt much.
Just like a knife stabbing through your heart.
Wanna try?
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Ohmy, why is everyone so weird suddenly. ):I don't like that person in msn.
keep annoying me. ):
-slaps.
I attract the wrong group of people - ALEX.
I agree. Best is not to attract!
RAH!
Meeting michelle later on to go koven. (=
I'm going off to school to pass up bio project. Like, finally, I've finished doing it. Pffffffffffft. I've wasted my precious sleeping time to do it. =\ Oh & I finally got batteries for my camera darling. HAWHAWHAW. Now I can snap all I want :D
Belle -
Thanks for the talk last night. Thanks for all those encouraging words. I hope you & her are doing fine yeah? :D Memories will always be memories. I'm so sorry to disturb your sleep yesterday. =\ Thanks anyway.
Much Loved! xD
-
Taken by surprise you've found
A way inside my heart.
Torn by love so many times.
Dreams of you
And the day we fall in love
Fill up my mind all day
So all that i have left to say is..
(chorus)
Please take this piece of my heart
And never let it go.
Things may not work out quite right
But i won't lose hope.
And I didn't see you coming
You walked through my hearts' doors
Where i'm so vulnerable and very few will get inside.
Dreams of
and the day we fall in love
fill up my mind all day
So all that i have left to say is.
(chorus)
i know i'm not the one who makes your life complete.
The one who you thought is so charming and sweet.
This feeling inside burns deeply for you.
It's not who you are but it's all that you do.
(chorus)
But i wont lose hope(4times)
I love this song. (=
omfg, michellelimjiamin i need you here like now?
):
don't play with my heart anymore,
don't play with my heart anymore.
please. ):
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
MY MUCHLOVED TOI(see, I love toi!) WANTS ME TO TELL EVERYONE THAT SHE IS NICE 'COS SHE HELPED ME TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I MADE HER HAPPY & MADE HER SMILE. :D (apparently, I sent her "Lonely No More" in mp3 format & that made her happy.)Ohyes, I better say these.
I love TOITOITOITOITOITOITOITOITOI,
more than I love the toilet. :D
-hugs
I still love TOI.
MUAHAHA!
Okay, I guess I've been sitting for the chairs for too long & I feel like my butt are like so pain. UGH!
Bio & lit paper yesterday. Bio was easy, lit was a horror. I was crapping all the way. Haahaha! I kept repeating what I meant & all. Like, rephrasing it but its still the same meaning! :D
I've got no papers today, so no school. I realised the school is so quiet nowadays. Maybe it's due to the exams for Sec 1s, 2s & 3s. (:
I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm so gonna die.
My arty sketches ares till not done.
I haven't start yet. SHIT! pfffffffffffffft.
I don't know what to say about you. I don't know what made me hate you so much lately either. You changed a lot, I guess. You weren't the one I met few months ago. You're a fifferent you. Sigh. Maybe it's because you hide things that were supposed to be out & proven. I don't know. I guessed the reason why you wanna keep in between you & your gf. But, guess what, we're your friends & she's your best/close friend. Didn't you tried putting yourself into her shoes & think how would she feel that way? We realised you were damn secretive & all, but we didn't wanted to ask or whatsoever. We respected you, that's why.
I don't believe there's sucha thing called BLACK MAGIC. But if you think that is, so be it. But think about it, you said that we didn't put ourselves into your shoes, but have you? You didn't either, did you? Think. I don't wish to drag this on. I don't wish to make this worst. I'm sorry.
Baby, if we met each other under a different sky
Maybe then things would be much better between you and I
We could always hold on to this one special thing we share
But it would be too much for us to bear
I broke down last night.
unfathomable piece of my mind.
A night all alone in a dark room, sitting at a corner thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking of. I can't deny you're still the one I've been loving, the one I dreamt of, the one I was thinking of, the one I wanted to be with. I'm living in self-denial all these while. I thought I've thrown you somehwere in my memory box. But no, you weren't there. You're still here. The pain, your presence still lingers around me. I'm sorry.
Michelle Lim Jia Min!
Thanks for those encouraging words that night. (: All much appreciated by muaaaaahhhh! You're practically copy&paste-ing what I've said to you, back to me. Hahah! But it's a good sign. At least you remember what I've once said to you. Heh. Oh, & I'm sorry. I've been talking to you & wasted your time when you're supposed to study! Hahaha! Well, everything in my mind was just an incomprehensible mytery, yes? I cried tears of reminiscence, tears of yearn.
I don't know what to do when you're gone. ):
Sunday, May 08, 2005
okay, a quick entry.i was mugging halfway & i came online suddenly cos i got the urge to type & talk to anyone. Hahah! Talking to michelle, natasha & MRS BLACK. I'm asking MRS RACH BLACK to send me songs. heh.
I hate that fucking poser at alvin'a blog. UGH. Fook off you assssssssss.
Bio & literature paper tmr. Wish me luck, PUHLEASE.
angel, please bless & pray for me okay?
i know you will.
dont deny yeahs?
Michelle, thanks for everything, sweet love. I don't know why would i cry over sucha thing. (: Sorry that i gotta go suddenly. my mum saw me using comp! =x
a fairytale about to begin. (x
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Boy oh boy, I've been home all day, eyes stucked onto the comp.I slept at 4 plus last night & I'm god dang tired!
Guess I'll go catch some winks. BLAH!
Later!
I'm sorry, I love you.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Hello to all. (=I can finally blog 'cos dad just went outta the room. I know he would start staring at the comp & see what I'm typing. & he thinks that I enjoy. Actually I do. Hahaha! Crap.
I screwed my ss paper today, again. Maths was okay. SS was a total stranger to me. How!? I told mum 'bout it & she's like, what can you do? I know you've tried already. Don't worry & stop sighing, you're spoiling my day. So I was like, uh, haha, okay okay. Ohwells. I tried hard enough, I guess. Sigh.
I don't know what I really want in life. I'm just like a homeless ghost walking around the town randomly, not knowing where I'm heading, where I wanna go next. I just roam around, looking if there's anything I could do or at least give a helping hand. I don't wanna live life like this. I've got a meaning here on earth, just that.. I don't know what is it yet. God made me here for a reason. Be it for the love of my life, my parents, the country, the society or whatsoever. Haiya, I don't know la. I just can't seem to get that smile from the bottom of ma heart. I've been paradoxical. Awhile, I want them to be here. Another time, I want them to all go away & ignore me. What do I really want? Pfffft.
You know that I miss you. You know that I've been waiting for your return, your calls & textes. I've been waiting for you like a fool under the apple tree. Even if the apple dropped & falls on my head, I still continue waiting. It isn't worthwhile but I still want to. I'd probably give up the time you tell me to. Everytime you ignore one msg from me, the harder I fall, the deeper I go. I'm glad that you're happy with your life right now. (This appears when I was typing that - Ni bi zhong qian kuai le.) When I look back, I start to regret, why didn't I grab hold what I used to have that time? I shouldn't even just dump you aside & leave you all alone when we both know that we still do. But now, it's all too late. So late. I'm sorry. ): I know how awful you felt at that time. I'm really sorry.
"Girl, it's time to let go & prove this all wrong."
I've heard that, it isn't the first.
But I can't seem to forget you.
Leave. Will you please leave?
Everything seem to remind me about you.
.uoyeesannawt'nodI!toslteg
dui bu qi,
Thursday, May 05, 2005
I'm very sure my bill is gonna make my dad blow his top again. Hah! I'm text-messaging Natasha. (: Aw, I so love that prettaye.NATASHA ARHSXZ~ worrx aiiii niiii worsxz!~
Angel, please sue starhub for me!
English mye today. I got the formal letter format wrong! Pffffft. Someone kill me please. If not, Miss sek will kill me. Rah! HOW?! I forgot to write my name on the chinese paper, y'know? Ohwells, who cares.
Michelle, I appreciate you plenty. I know you wanted to make me smile, make me happy, but it ain't gonna be easy. You tried cheering me up everytime I tell you how unhappy I was. But you still can't. So, maybe don't even try. It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be hard on you instead. You tried, I appreciated. The pain is still there, her presense still lingers. Nothing's gonna change that. But ohwells, I guess I gotta move on. (: I'll cheer up. Really, I will. Don't lie to me again. Outing after mye okays? Best of luck to you, dear. Photo-taking session is still undone. Pffffffft. Although umpteen times I've tried to show that I care, maybe you don't feel it at all, but deep down in my heart, I do! (: You're my precious lil'one & no one can take you away. NO ONE. (x I know, you don't see your name up in my nick or in blog, you think that Glynis don't love you. Crap, michy. I do. Just that I don't show, I don't tell. (: Make sure I don't see any marks or scars on your arms again. No more please. =\
I hope these would make you feel hella better. (:
You're much loved by muaaaaaaaa.
zhi shao wo zhi dao wo men chen jing xiang ai guo.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Chinese mye today.I guess I screwed the paper again. Tsk. I studied so hard for it! Seriously hope I did well. Ohwells, its over anyway.
I love to be in the hall la. But one sad thing is, we can't talk at all! Man! & I'm bored to death! Ughhhh!
I'm being chased off to bed again.
Gotta run.
I don't know how to live without your love.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Alright, I guess I gotta make a quick one.Mum's gonna be back in any min but I still wanna blog. Hahahah! I'm supposed to be like studying for my chinese but, ohwells, I PROMISE I WILL FINISH MY CHINESE TODAY. Imma' good girl. (:
Oh, pretty shocking news today. A FEW SHOCKING NEWS LAH. & they totally freak me out. Grrrrrrr. Sass & I got quite angry after knowing what's going on between people & people. Yeah, VERY pissed.
Nothing much happened today though. (:
I love Sarah Lau, Jeanette Low, Chanel Choo, Yip Qiao Lin, Jang Shi Jing, Michelle Lim, NATASHA QUEK, MERYL WEE, CAROLROLINE, AMANDA J, LYDIA DE. GLYNIS LOVES ALL. (:
Michelle, just in case you cant see, I've wrote your name in RED. (:
( HAHAHAHAHA ) & please don't say that I don't love you just because your name isn't on my NICK! =\
ANGEL, I wrote your name in pink, just in case your eyes are playing tricks with you. (:
( MUAHAHAHAHA )
Okay, I gotta run. (x
Mug hard!
TO YOU: LIKE HELLO? IN A THRILLION YEARS, I WOULDN'T FALL FOR YOUR SEXIEST GIRLFRIEND. I WON'T LIKE HER, NEITHER WILL I GO FOR HER. & IT'S NOT LIKE I WILL GO & CHASE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. GRRRRRR!
TO YOU no.2: EXCUSE ME, I AIN'T THAT FREE TO DO SOMETHING RETARDED. EXAMS ARE NEARING & I GO RIGHT TO HER BLOG & DO SUCH THINGS? I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T & I WON'T!
I'M OFF NOW!ye shi wo men bu ying gai xiang jian.
Monday, May 02, 2005
NATASHA QUEK AIN'T GONNA BE IN SCHOOL TMR. SHE AIN'T GONNA PROTECT ME. SHE SENT HER JUNIOR ANGEL TO PROTECT ME INSTEAD. SHE SAID HER JUNIOR ANGEL'S NAME IS A SECRET. SHE DOESN'T WANNA TELL ME WHO. & SHE CLAIMS THAT SHE SPEAKS PERFECT CHINESE. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!darling, you're so cute, y'know?
you always make me happy,
& that make me wanna love you more more more! (:
Ahwells, that pretty one makes my day larh. (:
Buddy made my day too. She sent me a text & that would make me very happy already. At least I know I still have a place in her heart, at least I know she still remembers me, she still cares. xD
The day is so boring. I finally got the chance to glue my eyes on the tv set again! (: I'm quite contented 'cos I got to watch this sad love story 'bout this guy who almost fell in love with his girl's sister. Nice! Had early mother's day celebration with granny just now. Went to bottle tree village again! (: Took photos & all. The sea was beautiful.
Natasha's writing her chinese words & she's ignoring me.
Well, I told her she can ignore me for today, just for TODAY. Heh!
Ahwell, my turn to do some chinese words.
ni, wo, ta. pffffffffffft.
Oh, I just remembered something. People hardly tag anymore! ): Amanda doesn't drop by anymore, Rolrol does it once in awhile. Buddy never tag for quite some time already! Cherylyeo hasnt been doing that. Bestie too! Michy does it when she got something to say. Qiaos comes when she has got stupid things to tag. XW promised me that she would tag but she didn't. Mans havent been tagging. Sass only tag when she's bored! Jean only tags when she can. RAH! Where have all you people gone?! Make me happy by tagging PLEASE. (: I'd appreciate that.
Off I go now.
wo zhi xiang shou de shi, wo xi huan ni.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
HAWHAWHAW.I SO DON'T LIKE THAT GUY WHO'S TALKING TO ME NOW.
HE'S FREAKING 34 & HE SOUNDS AS THOUGH HE WANTS TO HOOK ONTO ME. LIKE HELLO? I'M 15.
Alright. I didn't like today at all. It's so, like unhappy. As in, early in the morning, mum's at my door, screaming at the top of her voice like nobody's business. Oh, like WHOA. What a great start in the morning.
Went off to the club. & obviously, when I was being dragged out of bed, I wouldn't be feeling good at all right. I didn't bring anything. I just wore tee, shorts & slippers. Mum started her scoldings again. 'Cos she wanna go gym & I purposely don't wanna let her go, 'cos I need sleeeeeeeeeeep. Ugh, I got scoldings in return. DUMB.
Sis went to swim on her own 'cos dad forgotten to bring his. After that, we went to the chinese cuisine to have lunch. Yummilicious! ;D Dad wanted to get mum presents for her birthday, but mum didn't wanna go. =
Came home, mugged & all. (: Now, I'm here resting. Heh.
Well, I'm outta here.
I'll never forget how we used to love, so much.
I got tired of showing you that I still care, & yet, you ignored.
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
